That’s just silly, right? Right?!?
But… If there are, mine is most definitely the drunk one. Maybe they are all. Maybe it’s a sorority of “good time” girls, torturing all of us artists for a bit of fun in between expensive bottles of Vino.
Or shots of tequila.
I have toyed with creating an altar for my muse. Even shopped around for the perfect incense once. But, giving favor in return for offerings is far too rational for my muse. My oh-so-very-drunk muse. When I finally understood this about her, I started treating her a little differently. After all, you can’t rationalize with someone so inebriated that they can’t speak in coherent sentences. First, however, I wanted to figure out which type of drunk my muse was and come up with a plan to handle her.
Was she, say, the angry one who gets super offended by absolutely nothing and refuses to speak to you for the rest of the night? Maybe she’s the one dancing on the bar, so overly confident in her own craziness that you can’t help but toss off your stilettos and climb up with her. Was she the weepy one, stuck in bad memories and making everyone in her vicinity relive them with her??
I like to think of her as the “overly friendly” one. Always hopping from bed idea to idea, never settling down on one story. She’s the one that talks you into going to a cock fight, then halfway through gets bored and decides that bungee jumping would be a better way to spend your time. Or fondue. Or a strip club— where she somehow manages to get on stage and do a little dance before getting the two of you banned for life.
Not that you cared about being banned for life from a strip club. But it still stings a little, until you realize how hilarious it is. Which you will never admit to her, of course.
In reality, she’s really a mix of all of them. All the types. And the key to dealing with her is the same way that every designated driver has learned to deal with their group of friends on a particularly successful night out.
You humor them.
You put on your listening ears and nod your head at the appropriate times. Don’t bring up that other story you’re desperately trying to work on. She’ll just keep talking, only louder and more obnoxiously. So, you’re missing sleep? Well, the crazed rambling will be over way faster if you don’t interrupt. These ladies have a way of making even the most sleep-deprived author toss and turn as if the fate of the world were on their shoulders.
I’m not saying ignore your other projects. We’re artists, but we also have a job to do and deadlines to meet. But if your muse is clogging up the creative juices on your “suppose-to” project, take a few days and listen to what the heck she has to tell you. In my experience, after she gets it off her chest (usually a few days of manic writing), she’ll release her hold on you and permit you to finish that other project she gave you a while back. Maybe while you’re writing on the new project, she falls back in love with the old one and you come back from your however-long-break from it with new zest and boat-load of kick-arse ideas.
Maybe I’ll change my mind about this as I continue to grow as an author. I could wake up one day and be capable of the focus and sheer will-power to put my muse in a time-out when she’s being naughty without suffering the ill-effects of it [gasp, writers block!]. But until then, I’m just along for the ride. I’ll go to every nudey-bar and jump off every bridge, because -- at the very least -- I’ll have a fun story to swap with friends one day.
See what I did there? Haha.
The above was originally posted on A Book So Fathomless.